1. What to say

    All I really wanted was for someone to listen.

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Having a conversation with someone yous're worried virtually

Information technology can be frightening and deplorable when someone you lot intendance about wants to harm themselves. It's important to remember that you don't need to be a clinician, a GP, or a nurse to bank check-in with someone you are worried about. If a person you know seems to be struggling, reaching out and connecting with them could salve their life.

When should I ask

Choose a time and identify where you tin talk openly and easily, without getting interrupted. It'south important that you lot don't have to be anywhere or have other commitments - it might have a long time to accept this conversation and your friend or loved one needs to feel that yous have time to listen.

Ideally, your friend or loved one needs to exist calm to exist able to have this conversation.

You also need to exist calm to be able to have this chat. Make sure the fourth dimension is right for you too.

Some suggestions for locations:

  • At their place – it's easier to talk to someone when they are comfortable in their ain environment.
  • Doing something yous savour together – sometimes it'south easier to talk to someone when you're doing something like watching bad Goggle box, cooking dinner or playing cards or video games.
  • Go for a walk – you lot could wander up to a java shop, go for a walk in the park or along a beach or river. Fifty-fifty a walk around block.
  • Get for a bulldoze – talking side-by-side is a bully tactic, it can accept some of the intensity out of a face-to-face chat.

What if nosotros're online?

If someone posts a comment on a social media page or an online forum that makes it sound similar they're thinking virtually suicide, contact them straight, transport them a private message.  It's notwithstanding okay to talk online, just not in a public forum.

#YouCanTalk

If y'all experience worried well-nigh someone asking whether they are thinking almost suicide won't 'put ideas in their head'. Your friend or loved i volition probably feel relieved at being heard and understood.

Conversation starters

Below are some suggested conversation starters.

How are yous? Be prepared for 'fine' or 'good thanks' and follow upwards with: How are you lot really?

Y'all don't seem yourself. Letting your friend or loved one know you take noticed something different about them shows you care. It'southward important to allow them know yous're concerned about them, not upset with them for behaving differently.

I've had a terrible calendar week, how was yours? Sometimes it's adept to break the ice with the fact that life isn't always cracking, and to testify that you sympathize. Sharing some of the things you are struggling with tin assistance start the conversation. Be careful non to make information technology all about you though.

Is everything okay at abode/piece of work/uni? Making the question specific can get the conversation started, but remember that it might non be one thing. It might be a combination of many things, or peradventure zero in detail – only a general feeling.

What to say

  • Ask the directly question. Are you having thoughts almost suicide? Be prepared that the person may answer 'yes'. And then listen with empathy and without judgement.
  • Proceed asking open concluded questions, encouraging the conversation. How long accept you been feeling this manner? Have you felt this way earlier?
  • Make sure the person knows you're here for them. Use non-exact cues similar eye contact, mitt on their paw, nodding while they are talking.
  • Let the person know that lots of people think about suicide and that it'due south OK to talk about those feelings. You're not alone, lots of people feel like this. Thanks for telling me. I'thousand glad y'all're telling me how y'all feel.
  • Endeavour to offering hope and suggest that people tin find ways to get through tough times. I'm here, nosotros tin can find a way to get through this.
  • Reassure your friend or loved i that you're hither to listen and back up them and that you don't need to rush off. Just take your fourth dimension, there's no rush. I know talking near this can be hard. I'm hither to listen. Y'all can tell me annihilation.
  • Exist prepared to listen, even if it'southward hard to hear, even if it makes you upset.
  • Observe out if they've fabricated a plan. This is important. People who have made a programme are at more adventure. Take you lot idea well-nigh how you would kill yourself? Have you thought about when you lot would impale yourself? Have yous taken whatsoever steps to get the things you would need to carry out your programme?

Use advisable terminology

  • Died by suicide
  • Suicided
  • Concluded his/her life
  • Took his/her life
  • Endeavour to stop his/her life

What not to say

  • Don't try to talk them out of suicide by reminding them 'what they've got going for them' or how much it would injure their friends and family.
  • Don't endeavor to ready their problems. Listen with empathy and without judgement.
  • Don't dismiss it as 'attention seeking'. Take them seriously and admit the reasons they want to die.

Avoid stigmatising terminology

  • Committed suicide
  • Successful suicide
  • Completed suicide
  • Failed endeavor at suicide
  • Unsuccessful suicide

Exist prepared

The conversation might not go exactly like planned or every bit you had hoped, below are some things you might desire to consider and prepare for.

Yous've had the conversation – now what?

Make a safety plan with them. You can make a safety program with the Across At present app or you could just write it all down on a piece of paper and make sure they keep information technology with them.

Make sure they're safe for now and support them to connect with help. Y'all could practise this actively past making an appointment or taking them to the doctor, counsellor or the Emergency Department.

Advise being a part of our online forum where they tin share and learn from peers and become function of an online community.

Be part of our online forum - share and larn from your peers and go role of our online community

Bring together the word

Crisis support

If you lot are in an emergency, or at firsthand risk of harm to yourself or others, delight contact emergency services on 000. Other services include:

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